Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
