i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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