I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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