i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
