When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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