She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
