i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
