Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
