I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
