remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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