So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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