Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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