UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
