Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
