Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
