i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
