I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
