Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
