Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
