My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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