i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
