Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
