not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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