Quick, to the slutcave!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
