okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
