operation harelip BJ is a go
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
