He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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