Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
