he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
