i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
