belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
