I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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