Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
