Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
