But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
