Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Randomize
