dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
