my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
