We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
