We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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