left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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