dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
