Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I bet he comes in French.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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