I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
A bitchslap is in order.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
