just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
im on a boat
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