This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
