Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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