scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
