we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
