I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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