ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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